Recently, I was reading Jack Canfield's book "how to get from where you are to where you want to be" and I got this insight into life that captured my heart. The lesson I learnt from a plain non-spiritual perspective of Jack Canfield coincides with another lesson I learnt from my bible. As a christian, the last one week saw me learning from one of the most influencial person that ever lived - Jesus Christ. The lesson I've been trying to introduce is about responding to live events. I discovered that Jesus, althrough his life on earth, never blamed anyone for anything that happened to Him. He always responded to events in His life without complaints. Jesus took His life by its grips and never gave excuses for things - good or bad - that happened to Him. To the very religious amongst us, we might question 'but Jesus is a supernatural being?' I have this to say on that one - when Jesus was on earth, He experienced and passed through all things a natural human being would probably go through in His life. He cried, he laughed, he travelled, he was praised, disappointed, disgraced, died, bled, killed, appeared in court... However, He blamed no one for any of these things.
Jack Canfield said, "to effectively live life, we have to own it and be responsible for it". I reckon this is a truthful saying. Many of us lack claiming responsiblity for the events of our lives. When good things happen to us, we claim responsibility but when they are otherwise, we blame other or give excuses. I visited a friend this week and he said to me, "Samuel, you know what? When we say people hate us, its not that they probably choose to, peradventure its our first impression on them that influenced their disposition towards us" So, at the end of the day, the blame should still be ours because we emanated that impression or attitude in the first place. One of the quotes I've learnt from this week, "beware of no man more than yourself; we carry our worst enemies within us" ~ Charles Spurgeon. Many of us possess attitudes that are very bad and thus attract negative attitudes from others. Like John Maxwell said, "attitude is life's paint brush". The attitude you emanate paints your life.
Jack gave a formula that I reckon we should lay to heart...
Events + Response = Outcomes
What this means is that the events of our lives plus our responses to them brings out the outcomes - whether desired or not; positive or negative; expected or unexpected.
If you have a job and you are not happy with the job, you should respond either by leaving the job, move on or continue there and remain unhappy. Your response would determine the outcome.
If you are in a relationship and things are not going well for you. You can either respond by continuing therein (coping with the stress and challenges) or leave. You should stop blaming others or giving one excuse or the other. Your response would determine the outcome.
If you are studying a course and it appears you were not built for it. You then need to respond whether you want to continue with the course and remain perhaps unhappy for life or leave the course for another to do something that would make you fulfilled when you think about your life. Your response will determine the outcome.
Its your response that matters! Yes, you heard me well - your response matters! To that relationship, that career, that studies, that vocation, that job, that project, that contract, that friendship. Stop blaming others. Blame yourself for not responding well should anything happens. Take responsibility for your life. I only have one resolution this year and its to "never linger at places or with people that only tolerate me and do not celebrate or appreciate me". That resolution is a response to many events that happened in my life in 2009. What is your own response???
- Le Dynamique Professeur